


Mafia Games

by Nocturnal



Category: Durarara!!, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Crack, Crossover, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-17 01:49:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3510686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nocturnal/pseuds/Nocturnal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Izaya likes the mafia and so he decides to drop by Namimori to meet the Tsuna and co. Chaos ensues. Durarara/Reborn crossover with plenty of crack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mafia Games

Izaya liked the mafia. Not so much the Japanese yakuza, since weird hairdos and tattoos just were not his thing, but the Italian kind was particularly interesting. The suits were cool, too. That was why when he came across rumors about some powerful family based on the middle of nowhere, aka Namimori, he decided to check it out.

Small towns were normally rather dull and it had been such a long time since he had left Tokyo that he was nearly blinded by the sun as soon as he left the train station. There were no tall buildings to block the light so that it filled the air completely. It took Izaya a while to get used to this unusual brightness but soon enough he was strolling down sleepy streets.

The good thing about small towns was that one never needed to actually look for people. All it took was some wandering about. Izaya passed the shopping district which was rather mediocre all around and of course he ended up standing in front of the Sawada household after following a cute yellow birdie. He lost sight of the flying bundle of awesome but sang along as he stumbled on his destination and pretended that he too could fly by flapping his arms in lieu of wings.

"Midori tanabiku! Namimori no!"

Tsuna recognized the melody and stepped out of the gate.

"Hibari-san! Don't bite me to death!"

Izaya ceased his skipping about.

"Hi there! You must be Sawada Tsunayoshi! I'll call you Tsu-chan!"

It was one Izaya's convictions that everyone could and should be '-chan'ed. Tsuna blinked a few times.

"Ah, more weird people are showing up!"

A tiny cow thing (Izaya supposed it was a child of sorts but it looked like an afro with horns to him) hopped over the wall and pointed at Izaya, reminding him anew that animal prints were a crime against aesthetics.

"Haha, new guys get to serve Lambo-san!"

"Lambo, keep quiet!"

Tsuna tried to catch the weird creature but it escaped. Izaya grabbed it by the top of the hair and waved it around.

"Lambo-chan, is it? How very nice to meet you! Let's improve your image a bit."

Before Tsuna could say anything the switchblade was out and Lambo's thick curly puff of hair was reduced to a few strands so that he looked like a mix between bovine humanoid and poodle.

"Looks so much better now!"

Tsuna flailed while Lambo burst out crying. Not only was another weird guy around as he seemed random and insane. As if Reborn and co. were not bad enough. Izaya's haircut exposed the many things that Lambo kept in his mane, including many lollipops one of which Izaya popped into his mouth and another that he used to shove into Lambo's mouth to shut him up.

"…ga…man…ne…"

Speaking through hard candy was considerably difficult but the sugar rush did the job in stopping him from crying. Tsuna was actually impressed but he had no chance of even expressing this.

"You! I'm Juudaime's right hand man! Don't you get near him, you Fur Fringe you!"

At times like this Izaya seriously questioned Gokudera's timing. It varied from bad to worse. Gokudera was already running at full speed as if to mow down Izaya who simply took a step sideways and let him crash into the wall.

"Gokudera-kun, calm down. We don't know who this person is, he may be a good guy."

Tsuna tried his conciliatory approach. Gokudera struggled to get up from the pile of rubble.

"If Juudaime says so..."

Izaya eyed the new comer up and down. Quite tasteful fashion style, Izaya liked the many rings and the streetwear vibe.

"Go-chan! You know how to dress, maybe you can give Tsu-chan some tips."

Gokudera was on his feet right away, pushing a silver cannon armband into Izaya's face.

"You bastard, don't get too intimate with Juudaime!"

"Aw! Go-chan is in love! That is so sweet! And is that a skull?"

Gokudera blushed and tried to blast Izaya who calmly diverted the red energy ray or whatever it was with his blade alone. Tsuna had to intervene at this point before Gokudera destroyed the entire neighborhood.

"Gokudera-kun! Let's just hear him out first!"

Izaya bowed.

"I am Orihara Izaya. An informant from Tokyo."

"Tokyo? That is so cool, Orihara-san! Must be really exciting to live in such a big city."

Izaya nodded. Tsuna was clearly beginning to realize Izaya's true coolness so naturally Gokudera humphed.

"What's so great about a bunch of buildings. The best place in the world is where Juudaime lives!"

Tsuna smiled faintly. Izaya skipped about some more.

"I am so envious, Tsu-chan. Such devotion! Go-chan, keep it!"

I-Pin peered through the gate to see what this commotion was all about. The handsome newcomer caught her attention. He was cute, in fact a bit like Hibari-san and quite a lot like her master, too. Izaya spotted her and immediately picked her up.

"Little Chinese girl! Wheee!"

To Tsuna's horror Izaya proceeded to throw her into the air a few times as if I-Pin was a ball instead of a mini kid with an absurdly oversized head. And then the Pin countdown began and Tsuna nearly had a heart attack.

"I-Pin! Hibari-san isn't even around so don't explode! Orihara-san, be careful!"

From the corner of his eye he saw a baseball wielding fellow and tossed the human projectile in his direction. Yamamoto went into batter mode and hit her out of sight. Half a second later an explosion burst in the sky in reddish flames, a booming noise and shock waves knocking everyone down except for Izaya and Yamamoto.

"Homerun! All the way to China!"

Izaya celebrated madly. Yamamoto smiled apologetically.

"Sorry, I thought she was a ball."

Gokudera stormed all over again.

"That's why you're a baseball freak! Forget that, we have an enemy here!"

Izaya gasped dramatically.

"Me? An enemy? Not at all! I'm an independent agent."

"Oh, we got someone new to play mafia games? Neat! I'm Yamamoto Takeshi."

Yamamoto shook hands with Izaya who introduced himself. Gokudera foamed at the mouth.

"Don't go fraternizing with the enemy!"

"Orihara…oh, Orihara Izaya! I remember the name, are you the Tokyo costumer that orders large doses of ootoro every week?"

"That's me!"

"You're our number one costumer! My old man told me that if you ever dropped by Namimori, we'd treat you to some free sushi. So why don't we all go? What do you say, Tsuna?"

Meal times could be chaotic but there was so much Tsuna could handle.

"Sure, sounds great. Right, Gokudera-kun?"

"Hmph. If Juudaime says so then I will play along. But if this Fur Fringe guy does anything suspicious, you may trust me to protect you!"

Tsuna smiled and wondered precisely why Gokudera went on these rants at least once per day. Izaya blamed it on a combination of raging hormones and deep denial. They made their way to the restaurant, Yamamoto leading the way with Tsuna carrying Lambo and Izaya following while a grumpy Gokudera was at the rear in case of some stealth attack that he bet was just around the corner and how could that baseball freak be so carefree.

"In Ikebukuro we have Russian sushi."

"Really? Ikebukuro?"

"Best neighborhood in Tokyo. Probably bigger than your entire town."

Tsuna widened his eyes making Izaya wonder how big these could get.

"That's amazing, Orihara-san!"

"Izaya will do just fine."

"Izaya-kun, then."

Now here was a combination of name and honorific that Izaya was not particularly happy with but he let it slide. Yamamoto looked over his shoulder.

"Russian sushi? How is that made?"

"Not with people, I hope. There is also cheese sushi."

"Tokyo really is different!"

"Sound like something Basil-kun might like."

Izaya suddenly got the urge to throw the cow thing at Yamamoto to see him hit it all the way to the moon but restrained himself. Maybe later. He had already decided that if these guys ever formed a gang then the cow creature was getting axed fast. Unless there was a cooler version of it wandering about, that is.

"Basil-kun? Friend of yours."

"Yes. He's Italian and had a thing for all things Japanese. It gets a bit too much."

"He must meet Simon, then. My Russian friend who I talked into using 'gozaru' at all times."

Somehow Tsuna was not particularly surprised at this. As of late he had seen plenty of insane people and Orihara-kun was clearly one of them.

 

* * *

 

They reached the restaurant and waltzed to the counter where a human collie was eating. At least that was how Izaya would put it given the quantity of hair that covered this creature's face to the point of completely covering his eyes. But he still seemed to see the juicy piece of maguro in front of him.

"Hehehe, a meal fitting for a prince such as myself."

"Sempai, you need to watch your calories. You'll become fat like that useless engineer."

"Tch."

Izaya approached the huge frog hat under which was someone he recognized right away.

"Kasuka! Imagine, finding you here! Still as deadpan as ever."

Fran did not blink. He stared at the newcomer and at the Vongola members.

"Kasuka? Wrong, wrong, I'm Fran."

Before anyone had any idea of what was going on, there were knives thrown around and then Belphegor's bang fell prey to Izaya's blade skills. Belphegor jumped to his feet and flailed dramatically.

"Argh! My hair! My princely hair!"

"Bel-sempai, seems like you actually have eyes. Amazing."

"Shut up, you frog! And you, you, you-"

Belphegor pointed at Izaya at struggled for words. Fran decided to help:

"Guy who kicked my ass completely and pretty much showed I am not all that great? Oh yeah, and he only had a blade."

"You'll pay for this! And shut up, Frog!"

The snickering was knocked out of Belphegor and he dragged Fran away without finishing his sushi so that he could plan some grand revenge plot. Izaya waved at them.

"Bye bye, Kasuka! That green dye suits you, too!"

And with this Izaya sat at the counter and gobbled the tuna. Tsuna sat next to him, tentatively, and Gokudera followed muttering. Yamamoto went to the other side of the counter to help his father prep. Izaya's phone rang with a happy-go-lucky tone and he picked it right away.

"Hello, Bya-chan! How's it going? Sure, hang on."

Izaya pressed a button and projected a hologram of a gleeful fellow whose smile filled his face and turned his eyes into slits.

"Byakuran? You know Byakuran?"

The Vongola members nearly face palmed.

"Bya-chan is my friend. We go to marshmallow parties."

Byakuran nodded in his friendly way of his that bordered on psychotic.

"Iza-chan, Sho-chan wanted to say hello but you see, he can't really talk right now."

Tsuna stopped Gokudera from blasting away the hologram which would not achieve anything. This '-chan'ing was getting out of hand.

"What did you do to Shoichi-kun? Put him on the line!"

Byakuran blinked, ate a fluffy marshmallow and glanced down.

"Hmm…Sho-chan doesn't want that, I'm sure. Neh?"

A bit of red hair showed very briefly, Byakuran patted it and brought it down unto his lap. Izaya chuckled. Tsuna was the first to react.

"We can't show this in a shounen show!"

Shoichi's voice was heard in the background, his face still not showing.

"Byakuran-san, people are not supposed to know about this!"

"Oh? Sho-chan, don't be silly. Everyone knows you're my bitch. In every dimension, even."

Tsuna rocked back and forth.

"We'll be rated R18 now! Argh!"

Gokudera chimed in.

"Don't worry, Juudaime! We'll just erase the fans' memories with my new improved system enter random letter combination here!"

All along Izaya ate his sushi. Ootoro was the best.

"Sho-chan, don't go spilling any drop. Or I'll have to claw your throat open. Neh?"

Tsuna pointed to the hologram with a shaky finger.

"Scary! Byakuran is scary! How can you say such horrible things and add 'neh' like it's nothing!"

Izaya added soy sauce to his rice and ate some wasabi.

"Ah, Bya-chan is so lucky. I wish I had some childhood friend turned subordinate turned rebel that would blow me. No wait, there is always Kida. Not exactly the same but he's not too bad, no."

Byakuran smiled happily and pulled up Shoichi, placing on his lap and feeding him a marshmallow.

"It's….Orihara Izaya!"

"Hello, Shoichi-kun! I'm afraid I can't '-chan' you because your owner can be terribly jealous."

Shoichi noticed the Vongola members and turned into a shade of red that matched his hair.

"Tsunayoshi-kun, it's not what it looks like! It really isn't! I was just- erm, pretending so that I could gain Byakuran-san's confidence. Yes, that was all!"

"Now, now, Sho-chan. Do lick it off, there's still some on your face."

Byakuran wiped the white stuff from the corner of Shoichi's mouth and then proceeded to kiss him.

"Byakuran-san, don't do that…"

"I've got to go now, Iza-chan. It's time for me to go rape all the Sho-chans that exist in all those many parallel worlds. By the way, I left you a special box weapon like we planned. Bye now!"

"Thanks! Talk to you later, Bya-chan! And glad to see you too, Sho-chan."

And with this Izaya finished his delectable meal and hopped from his seat.

"Alright! Show me around this Namimori place! I wonder if I'll see that cute bird too."

Without further ado Izaya gained an escort to let him see what was to be seen in all the three or four blocks that formed this tiny town. They ended up in front of Namimori middle school.

"It's been ages since I've been to school! Whee, I want to go to the roof!"

Gokudera began to protest but Yamamoto just waved conciliatorily as was his bent.

"Izaya-kun! Wait! Ah, what will happen if Hibari-san finds him here!"

Izaya skipped merrily enough, up the stairs and all the way to the rooftop with the Vongola members on his heels. The door banged loudly as Izaya slammed it open and proceeded to inspect his surroundings.

"Hmm...Bya-chan said it should be around here. Seven steps to the East, two steps to the North, oh it must be this!"

Izaya worked his blade into a loose stone. A shadow covered him from behind.

"You. You're not a student at Namimori middle school and you're damaging school property. For that I'll bite you to death."

Izaya blinked as he turned around to spot a boy wielding tonfa and clearly ready to strike. A yellow bird perched on his shoulder.

"Oh, are you birdie's owner? He's so adorable. Did you teach him that song? How did it go, 'Midori-"

Izaya's singing was cut short as Hibari attacked him. Fortunately for Izaya he was a master at dodging blows and he was still doing that, acrobatically enough, it might be added, when Tsuna and company burst into the scene.

"Keep still so that I can discipline you."

"Kinky! That's so kinky! Discipline…"

Tsuna flailed even more than usual as Izaya landed on the fence and Hibari followed.

"Hibari-san, stop! Izaya-kun isn't anyone suspicious!"

Izaya smiled.

"Oh, Hibari is it? Guess that makes Hi-chan. Hi-chan wants to discipline me!"

"Don't provoke him! Ah, Yamamoto, do something!"

"It's fine, isn't. That they're so friendly together."

Obfuscation often reached a level of absurdity in Yamamoto Takeshi.

"Let me handle it, Juudaime. Hibari! Kill the Fur Fringe!"

"Gokudera-kun, you're not helping!"

Hibari ignored all this commotion. Not only because he disliked crowds, which he did, but mostly because he found this slippery fellow to be horribly familiar with all the giggling and evading every single attack.

"You, you're Rokudo Mukuro's brother or something? That makes you my number one enemy."

Izaya stopped still for a fraction of a second as if considering this.

"Pineapple hair? We go on shopping sprees on Harajuku."

"That settles it. I won't just bite you to death, I'll do it slowly and make you suffer."

Izaya gasped.

"Oh my. So naughty!"

Hibari was getting angrier which could only mean that his reflexes became faster and his attacks pinpointed with greater accuracy so as to strike vital zones. Izaya decided that it was time to try out Byakuran's gift and so he inserted one of his rings into the tiny cube, chiming as he did it because he really was fond of the sound of his own voice.

"Love for Humanity!"

Orange white light filled the rooftop and everyone was momentarily blinded except for Izaya who put on his sleek shades. As the glow dimmed it left the shiny figure of a big

man that somehow had cat ears, tail, and a chain around his neck.

"IZAYA!"

The strange newcomer lurched towards Izaya but he only had to pull at the end of the chain that he held to send him sprawling on the ground.

"Shizu-chan! So glad you could join us!"

Tsuna blinked.

"Is that a box weapon? No matter how you look at it, that's a person!"

Izaya tugged at the silky cat ears and Shizuo purred despite himself.

"You know, Tsu-chan how these weapons are based on animals? Shizu-chan totally qualifies as one! In fact, human beings are animals. Mammals, even!"

"I knew it! It's a real person! And what's with the chain?"

"He'd attack me without it."

Gokudera nodded and added,

"I can understand that completely."

"Gokudera-kun, now isn't the time to be understanding!"

"IZAYA!"

Shizuo growled and bit on the chain to no avail.

"Tsk, there's no point to doing that, Shizu-chan. The metal is covered by Sun flames, so even if you bite into, it'll regenerate on the spot! But more to the point, have you met Hi-chan?"

"Who the fuck is that!"

Izaya pointed. Hibari was still on the defensive, half-crouched and assessing this new potential target.

"You. Are you strong?"

Shizuo lifted an eyebrow and his cat tail stood up as an exclamation point, ears twitching.

"Think you're funny, punk? You're one of the louse's fucked up kid minions?"

"My, my, Shizu-chan. You're being so mean, tsk. Speaking of Hi-chan, is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"What the fuck, is that a forest….? Just where am I? This isn't Tokyo!"

Izaya clapped.

"'Shizu-chan, I don't think we're in Tokyo anymore!'"

"IZAYA-KUN!"

The shout was enough to knock down Tsuna, Gokudera and Yamamoto, the sound wave hitting them straight on. Izaya stepped to the side at the precise right time. Hibari cracked one of his smiles.

"You're still not being honest to me. I think that there's a good chance you're Hi-chan's father. How could you, Shizu-chan! Going behind my back like this and fathering a child! Woe is me!"

"What the fuck are you blabbering on about?"

Shizuo finally bothered to take a good look at the tonfa kid. For a while nothing happened and one could even hear the wind whistling around the rooftop. Izaya wondering if pushing someone off the ledge might not be a world of fun. Shizuo frowned and popped a cigarette into his mouth.

"Doesn't look like me at all."

Hibari adopted an offensive stance.

"Smoking is strictly prohibited in school grounds. I'll enjoy biting you to death, seems like you're stronger than the flea guy."

Hibari's attack would have demolished virtually anyone unfortunate enough to be in its way but Shizuo picked him up easily enough and sent him hurling against the wall. Izaya gasped dramatically.

"Oh my! Shizu-chan is so manly."

"IZA-"

"Shizu-chan goes bye bye now."

Izaya cut him off by closing the box and closing Shizuo back in. Then he sauntered to the wall where an unconscious Hibari was still sprawled and produced a second box that Byakuran had left him. In this one Izaya found ropes and all sorts of other box-sex toys. Izaya tied up Hibari, humming along with Hi-bird who flew in circles above.

"Midori tanabiku, namimori no! Ah, Bya-chan is the best! This what these box thingies should be all about! Who needs pokemon creatures when you can get special Storm activation powered lube?"

And with this Izaya picked him up, Hibari was not as heavy as it might seem, and skipped to the disciplinary committee room where there was after all a very nice sofa that was such a waste not to put to some good use. Once secured here, Izaya rubbed his hands and did a happy dance. He had a special plan to spice things up a bit and it included writing a letter, which he now did, and then producing the Ten Year Bazooka from a pocket (his jacket was simply that amazing, really), tweaking with it some (as per Bykuran's instructions, as they were best friends for life) and then jumping into it.

A puff of purple smoke filled the room and then a scrawny teenage Izaya was standing instead of his usual self, red eyes blinking in surprise.

"Oh? What is this! I was just running away from Shizu-chan, maybe he hit me with that vending machine and I am now having some sort of delusion? Oh well! Look, some guy all tied up!"

Izaya approached Hibari and spotted a letter written in his own handwriting which he proceeded to read out loud.

"'Hello, myself! This is Orihara Izaya writing. Welcome to the future, ten years into it, even!' Wow! No way I'd lie to myself. 'Your dream came true and you became a great informant that calls the shots on everything that happens in Tokyo.' Oh right! Yes! Wonder when I lost my virginity. 'I can't tell you much more, I left you a bunch of toys, instructions on how to use them are on the desk, and a cute plaything to boot! Be careful though, Hibari (that's his name) is strong, Shizuo-strong, and he bites, too! Enjoy yourself! You have an hour. Love, Orihara Izaya. PS: Shizu-chan is a catboy now, instructions on how to use him are included as well.' Alright! Cool!"

Most people would be freaked out by this or at least highly suspicious but Izaya was not. He read the instructions and decided to keep the ropes as he cut off Hibari's special uniform. Izaya shook him awake.

"Hello, you must be Hi-chan! Nice to meet you!"

Hibari narrowed his eyes dangerously. The age shift convinced him that this horrible creature was indeed Mukuro.

"Just wait until I am free of these bonds. Enjoy what little life you still have ahead of you."

Izaya cackled merrily and tugged at the ropes.

"Oh? I don't think you're in a position to be barking orders at me, Hi-chan!"

Izaya found more instructions that explained how to activate the odd cubes that did not seem particularly impressive. But as soon as he put the stylish ring into the orifice he found himself in possession of some high class aphrodisiac. Izaya whistled.

"Well I'll be damned. The future is a wonderful place to be."

He poured the purple reddish thick liquid over the ropes and over Hibari's naked skin. Izaya then sat at a desk to watch, gnawing on a marshmallow that he found inside one of the many trippy boxes. Izaya was very familiar with glacial looks of sheer hatred, after all he knew Heiwajima Shizuo better than he would have liked, so he recognized it immediately in the way this Hibari person now glared at him. Hibari made another failed attempt at setting himself free but to no avail.

"You can stop trying now, these are magical it seems. And aren't you…a happy boy."

Izaya's voice dropped a notch to become husky, matching this by running a finger down Hibari's chest, stomach and groin, fingers toying with the bulge there. Hibari made as if to bite but Izaya was forewarned.

"Now this sure is interesting."

Izaya was timing it all and knowing that his schedule was tight he propped Hibari on his belly and produced a box dildo that he proceeded to plunge straight into him in a not too ceremonious way. To his credit Hibari did not even wince at the sudden intrusion, then again his erection was dripping already and much more so was his soft spot was hit. Izaya got rid of the toy altogether and struggled a bit to drop his pants. Teenage Izaya was not half as suave as he would grow up into being and lust clouded his mind enough to keep him from realizing immediately that he needed to unbuckle the belt before he could get to the good part.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Eh…? Seems pretty obvious to me, Hi-chan. Some needs have to be obeyed and all that."

What Izaya lacked in technique he made up with effort. His thrusts were erratic and so hit and miss that Hibari's already smoldering anger turned into a monstrous thing. Hibari bit his lips shut but each time Izaya moved into him and got it just right he could not suppress the most infuriating moan from bubbling up. He set himself to at least not pushing back into the hardness that filled him and waited for this dreadful Izaya person to lean over enough so that he could bite his neck wide open. Hibari found this image highly appetizing, unfortunately that made him all the more susceptible to the weird gooey stuff that made him burn in a mixture of indignation and raw need.  
Izaya moaned shamelessly as he emptied himself in a few hard long thrusts that sent shivers through Hibari's whole body and had him coming against his will, a passing thought that his sofa was being soiled and that this human flea was going to pay.

Izaya collapsed backwards as he withdrew and it took a lot of heavy panting for him to regain his breath. Hibari was beyond scowling, he now wore a frozen expression of unmitigated hate that Izaya found extra hot because of the bit of semen slipping from him.

"Wow, that was…intense."

Normally thoughts of time paradoxes would have occurred to him but currently Izaya was still too overwhelmed by sex. And there were more pressing matters such as activating Shizuo's box.

"IZAYA!"

"Shizu-chan! You really are a catboy now!"

Izaya tugged at the fluffy ears and petted the bushy tail.

"Nya…I mean, get the fuck OFF! And- you're shorter and half-naked…?"

Shizuo was very surprised now. Izaya wrapped the chain around his hand so that when he jumped unto Shizuo's back, there would be no fighting back.

"Aw, I want to know, do you still hate me ten years into the future?"

Izaya snuggled against him in what is often called 'glomping.'

"Let go of me right now."

Izaya pouted.

"No! Shizu-chan must like me!"

And with this the one hour passed and adult Izaya suddenly found himself clinging to Shizuo. Unfortunately the chain that kept Shizuo bounded was also sent into the past along with teenage Izaya.

"Eh, Shizu-chan? I was just kidding, just kidding."

From the sofa Hibari had been following this and he sensed an opening here. He did not believe in cooperating but currently something had to be done to bring pain upon this subhuman species of the Rokudo Mukuro kind. No amount of reasoning could now persuade him that this Izaya and Rokudo were not basically the same creature.

"You, blonde guy. There are some extra tonfa on the drawer."

Shizuo reached for those but Izaya was already bolting out of the room. Shizuo gave chase right away. The two of them ran straight into the Vongola party and proceeded to knock them all down once more. Izaya barely noticed and kept on leaping down the stairs with a thundering howl preceding Shizuo's furious stampede. Meanwhile the rope box's effect wore off. Hibari sprang to his feet, tossed on his famous jacket and ignoring the pain that flared up as soon as he landed on the floor he was on his way running after his tormentor and stepping on top of Gokurdera, Tsuna and Yamamoto on his way out without even slowing down. This being the disciplinary committee room there were of course even more tonfa that he grabbed on his way out.

Izaya was used to outrunning one pursuer but he had no experience evading two that cornered him from opposing directions so that he had nowhere to go. For a split second as Hibari poised his tonfa to deliver a blow while Shizuo cracked his knuckles, Izaya was genuinely afraid for his life. But then he was being beamed away and blinking in a vast white space where Byakuran was lounging on a chair.

"Iza-chan! You got yourself into quite a pickle."

Izaya shrugged.

"You know how it is, it's no fun unless there's some risk involved. Neh?"

A snickering voice filled the air above them and no one was very surprised at seeing Mukuro materialize. They were however a tad surprised at his trendy white jacket with matching trim and pink headphones. Izaya was the first to react.

"Hey! I wanted those clothes! Pineapple hair!"

More snickering followed.

"Izaya-kun, it's like you say, it's not the same without the risk. And I'll be taking this as well."

Mukuro magically produced Shoichi. Byakuran almost opened his eyes.

"Oh my, Sho-chan is being stolen from me. Whatever shall I do."

It was with a somewhat sorry heart that Izaya returned to Tokyo but he was already formulating more plans for more time hopping trolling of the epic kind.

 

* * *

  
In the past, however, Izaya was abuzz.

"I'm telling you, I went to the future and got to do this hot guy that I think is Shizuo's kid!"

Shinra sighed and adjusted his glasses. Not for the first time and surely not for the last time he wondered how and why he had landed himself such a weird 'friend' as Izaya. The term being of course used rather loosely.

"I think that Shizuo's vending machine finally hit you too hard in the head."

"Oh really? Then how do you explain this?"

Izaya produced the chain. Just as they turned the corner, Shizuo appeared and Izaya did his happy dance.

"Shizu-chan, Shizu-chan, nya!"

Izaya proceeded then to latch him with the chain and glomped him all over again. Or for the first time, chronologically speaking that is.

Overhead Byakuran ate a cosmic marshmallow and thus destroyed an entire universe. Such is the life of a crazy egomaniac turned god. He decided to create a new world populated just with Sho-chans. And at this thought he did open his eyes. So much fun to have, so many dimensions to screw with, and so much time at his disposal. Life was grand.

As for Tsuna and co, they all decided that as bad as it was for Byakuran to become some overlord, at least he was not Orihara Izaya. Everyone agreed that this was a good thing. As for Hibari, he joined Shizuo in a quasi partnership of sorts with the sole purpose of eliminating Izaya. The jury is still out on that and Izaya was not even too worried. Instead he developed a new and improved happy dance that included flapping his arms like a yellow birdie as he sang.

"Midori tanabiku!"

Indeed.  
  
**The End**  
  



End file.
